O'Charley's, a restaurant two buildings down from my place of employment, went belly-up this morning, and less competition means more profits for me! Now it's us versus Christopher Seafood Co., all alone in the wide-open parking lot of Wal-Mart, Tropical Smoothie, and Ross. Yes, we were getting quite a few O'Charley's residuals all day, and I did pretty handsomely for a Saturday.
I figured I'd go and sabotage Christopher's grills or refrigerator compressor (even better because they'll likely serve spoiled food before they know it's ruined, and they'll have a law suit on their hands), thus solidifying our locational monopoly at the southwest corner of Kernan and Atlantic Blvd.!
All in a day's work. Long live Me, the King.
Wait... damn it. I just realized that I'm sure to be reported to the FTC and the DOJ Antitrust Division.
Crap.
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